How to Survive Back-to-School Stress When You're Caring for Kids and Parents

The Double Pull of the Sandwich Generation

If you’re reading this, chances are you know what it feels like to be pulled in two (or more!) directions at once. On one side, your kids need you…school forms to fill out, lunches to pack, rides to practices, and emotional support through the ups and downs of the new school year. On the other side, your aging parents need you…transportation to doctor appointments, help with finances, medication management, interpreting information to make decisions, and your presence so they don’t feel so alone.

This is life in the sandwich generation. You’re raising children while simultaneously caring for aging parents. It’s a reality for millions of adults today and while it can bring deep meaning and connection, it can also be overwhelming. This overwhelm feels especially heightened during back-to-school season, when new routines and responsibilities pile on.

If you feel stretched thin, exhausted, or like you’re constantly falling short, you’re not alone. This post will explore why this time of year is so challenging, the emotional toll it can take, and strategies you can use to manage the stress without losing yourself in the process.

What is the Sandwich Generation?

The term sandwich generation refers to adults who are responsible for caring for children while also supporting aging parents. Sometimes, this includes financial support, physical caregiving, or emotional caretaking. In many cases, it includes all of the above!

This role can affect people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, though it can extend beyond. A Pew Research study found that nearly 1 in 4 adults in the U.S. is part of the sandwich generation. As people are living longer and having children later in life, more families are finding themselves in this dual caregiving role.

Back-to-school season brings unique challenges. The shift from summer to fall introduces changes in schedules, transportation needs, costs for supplies and activities, and emotional adjustments for children. At the same time, your parents’ needs don’t pause. This can make the overlapping demands feel relentless.

The Back-to-School Crunch: Why It Feels So Hard

For most parents, the start of a new school year is a whirlwind! There’s the paperwork, new routines, fees for activities, and emotional labor of helping kids adjust. But for the sandwich generation, these stressors land on top of another full-time job: caring for your parents.

Children’s Needs

• Establishing new school routines (bedtimes, wake-ups, homework)

• Attending school events and parent meetings

• Coordinating transportation to activities

• Providing emotional support for kids adjusting to new teachers, peers, or academic pressures

Parents’ Needs

• Scheduling and attending medical appointments

• Managing medications or health crises

• Navigating financial or legal matters

• Providing companionship and emotional support

When these two sets of needs collide, it creates a constant sense of urgency. You may feel like you’re racing from one responsibility to another, never truly able to slow down.

The Emotional Toll of Living in the Middle

Living in the sandwich generation can take a profound emotional toll. Many caregivers describe feeling:

• Guilt: You might feel guilty for not giving enough time to your children, guilty for not being fully present for your parents, and guilty for neglecting yourself.

• Exhaustion: Burnout is common, as the constant cycle of caregiving leaves little time for rest.

• Isolation: Friends who are not in the same stage of life may not understand your struggles, leaving you feeling alone in your stress.

• Strain on relationships: Marriages, friendships, and even work responsibilities can suffer under the weight of caregiving.

• Impact on health: Chronic stress can manifest as headaches, fatigue, sleep problems, or increased risk of anxiety and depression.

If you’ve ever thought, “I feel like I’m failing everyone,” you are not failing. You’re carrying a load that would stretch anyone to the limit.

Strategies to Manage Stress in the Sandwich Generation

While you can’t eliminate the responsibilities of caring for both kids and parents, you can take steps to reduce the stress and create breathing room in your life. Let’s talk about a few!

1. Create Routines That Work for Everyone

Consistency benefits both children and parents. Actually, we all benefit from consistency in our routines! Try to:

• Establish morning and evening routines that make school days predictable.

• Build in time buffers so you’re not rushing from one obligation to the next.

• Use shared calendars (digital or on paper) to keep track of everyone’s schedules.

When routines are in place, it reduces the mental load of constant decision-making.

2. Delegate and Share the Load

You do not need to do everything alone.

• Ask siblings or extended family to share caregiving tasks for your parents.

• Coordinate carpools for school pickups or activities.

• Order groceries online, use meal delivery services, or simplify meal prep.

It can feel uncomfortable to ask for help, but remember: delegating isn’t a failure. It’s a necessity for sustainability.

3. Communicate Honestly About Your Limits

Transparency with your family is vital.

• Tell your children in age-appropriate ways what’s going on and why you may be stretched thin.

• Talk with your parents about what you realistically can and cannot do.

• Keep open communication with your spouse or partner about dividing responsibilities.

You don’t need to carry the illusion that you can “do it all.”

4. Build in Micro-Moments of Self-Care

Self-care doesn’t need to mean a spa day. Even small pauses can recharge you.

• Take five minutes to breathe deeply in your car before the next responsibility.

• Listen to a podcast you enjoy while driving between appointments.

• Write down three things you’re grateful for at night.

• Prioritize sleep as much as possible. Rest is the foundation for resilience.

These small actions can help you feel less depleted.

5. Seek Support Systems

Caring for both kids and parents is too much for one person to manage without support.

• Join a caregiver support group (in person or online).

• Seek therapy for a safe space to process the stress.

• Ask schools, doctors, or local agencies about resources available to families in your position.

Support is not a luxury here; it really is essential for your mental health.

A Word About Guilt

One of the heaviest burdens sandwich generation caregivers carry is guilt. The sense that you’re not giving enough to your children, your parents, your partner, or your work. The truth is, you are only one person. You cannot give 100% to everyone at all times.

What you can do is:

• Be intentional about your presence, even if it’s for a short time. Ten minutes of focused attention can mean more than an hour of distracted multitasking.

• Remind yourself that you are doing your best under extraordinary circumstances.

• Practice self-compassion. If a friend were in your shoes, what words of kindness would you offer them? Offer the same to yourself.

Guilt thrives in silence and self-criticism. When you name it, share it, and counter it with compassion, its hold weakens.

Encouragement for the Season Ahead

As you juggle school drop-offs and doctor appointments, remember: You are not alone. Millions of others are navigating the same exhausting, messy, and often invisible work of being the glue that holds two generations together.

You will have days when things feel impossible. You will also have moments of connection, like when your child smiles after their first day of school, or your parent thanks you for simply being there. Those moments matter.

This season is hard, but the intensity of the season is temporary. Routines will settle. Stress can be managed. And with the right support, you can find ways to breathe, rest, and keep going without losing yourself along the way.

If you are part of the sandwich generation, know that your struggles are real, your exhaustion is valid, and your efforts are seen, even when it feels like no one notices.

Take gentle care of yourself this school year. You matter just as much as those you care for.